The Perfect Silhouette
by purpledragon6
Summary: "Sam, you are obviously in a lot of pain. Why don't you try using your voice instead of your body to tell us why you are hurting, to tell us what you need." Sam's story on the impossible climb to perfection. Anorexica. Maybe Seddie. Adopted from original writer.
1. Chapter 1: Imperfect

**The Perfect Silhouette**

_"An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person."_

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><p>"1,2,3" she said aloud. Sam stood in front of her cracked full length mirror in her room. She had long ago removed her shirt and sweat pants, leav<strong>i<strong>ng them discarded in a heap on the floor by her feet.

She repeated the number's again aloud before taking a deep breath in, sticking her chest out, pushing the fat from her stomach up into her rib cage, making the allusion that she was smaller than the disgusting display that started back at her. The mirror's eyes flashed deviously for a moment, shocking Sam a bit, for she knew that she had in fact not made it herself.

She backed up slightly, just far enough to 'admire' the thin hollowed out image of her stomach. It was a beautiful sight in her mind, the perfect curves and the bumpy ripplely terrain that was her stomach was now flat, the ribs an inch above poking out; reassuring her that perfection was close.

Her lungs squeezed together, and her head became dizzy from lack of oxygen. She gave herself one last glance over before releasing the breath she was holding, watching the reflection she was so proud of unravel into a huge lumpy and jiggly mess. Groaning she let her body go limp, weak from the air she had refused to give her lungs, and fell backwards onto the hardwood floor, the crunch of the wrappers beneath her, making loud rustles in her ears.

Feeling short of breath she closed her eyes for a moment, breathing hard and loud, gasping every few minutes to steady the thumping in her brain and the tight pounding in her chest.

She reached her hand up to the large mountain she called her stomach, grazing her hands along the bottom on her chest, from the edge of her bra, her fingers lightly over the enormous bulge, dipping her fingers into the creases and over her rolls until she made it to the edge of her panties.

She clenched her hands around the mass, fingers digging into her skin painfully; it was almost like she was hoping that she could fully grab it into her hands and off her body. Tears started to form in her eyes, her baby blues darkening under the thick water.

She hissed as her fingers continued to bore into her delicate skin, her finger nails bending and breaking, the skin under them, making them bleed. Bending her head back in pain, the wrinkle and crunch of the empty junk food wrappers under her echoed in her ears reminding her of what she had just done.

She could feel the cru**m**bs stuck in her teeth as she ran her tounge along them, and the guilty bitter taste in her mouth. It was sickeningly sweet but a heavenly relief her to abused stomach. It was beginning to be a challenge to keep any food in her stomach for a long period of time, either by choice or by force.

Two months, it had been a long two months since this had started, and she had done, in her opinion, a marvellous job at hiding it. Though it wasn't much of a challenge because the three closest people to her where not only the nicest, but also the most dense to the true horror's around them. It was like they lived in their own world, full of bubble gum and cotton candy, which when Sam thought about it made her feel even more sick to her stomach.

It all started those long two months ago when those shirts came out, the ones that told her she wasn't **p**retty enough, wasn't good enough, wasn't beautiful enough, wasn't skinny enough.

"Eat Less."

And it was engraved into her brain ever since.

Carly had went out and bought them when they first came out, saying it was the newest trend and that everyone was going to be wearing them at school the next day. She had, being a good friend, bought Sam one as well, saying they would look so cute together walking down the hallway. She herself had questioned the shirts at first, knowing in the back of her mind that this wasn't something she wanted to be a part of, but she put that little nagging feeling into the back of her mind, hoping it would get lost in the mess of everything else, but it never did.

She hated that shirt.

Carly had gotten extra smalls for the both of them, and it had complimented her so well. The tight fit clung to her perfect figure, outlining her curves, making them look more defined. It was tight around her small chest, giving them the illusion that they were larger. Her hips curved out more, the gray of the shirt complementing her beautiful skin tone, matching the light blush in her cheeks.

She couldn't help but glare at the perfect girl in front of her. She was so embarrassed of herself, the shirt didn't fit like hers did, it didn't complement her body, didn't bring out her natural curves or brighten her complexion, no, it made her look fat.

The extreme tight fit flattened her chest out, making her look boxy and flat, not to mention uncomfortable. It didn't outline and enhance her curves but blew up every roll and every indent, and made her obvious muffin top more prominent. The light gray colour made her look washed out and pale, her blue eyes looked dull and lifeless, unlike Carly's bright sparkly ones.

Moving her head over to the side, she could still see that shirt, draped over the side of her dresser, the memories of that day stuck to them like glue.

She and Carly had worn them to school the next day, Carly feeling confident as always, and Sam hiding in her overly large zip up hoodi**e**. Almost every girl in school was wearing them, just like Carly predicted, boys complementing their girlfriends on how they looked, others disgusted by the sight. Freddie had given them both disapproving looks when they had walked into school, Carly complaining on how he didn't know anything about fashion and going on and on about how good she looked in it.

It wasn't that moment when she realized that she needed to change; it was lunch later that day. Carly had grabbed her before lunch, practically forcing her out of her hoodie, saying that she should show off that beautiful body to the world. The moment she had stepped into the cafeteria she felt the world stop. She felt as if every eye was on her, starting at her body, their eyes laughing, looking over every imperfection and comparing her to the beautiful shining girl beside her.

Her head began to spin, the echoes of their laughing eyes rang through her head, making her immediately reach her arms around her body, and sucked in as much fat as she could and walked closely behind Carly, afraid one of their judging eyes would spot her.

Sitting down for lunch she set her b**r**own paper bag down onto the table, unloading the lunch Carly had made for her that morning. Three ham sandwiches, two puddings cups, four fat cakes, two bags of mini Barbeque chips and 3 juice packets. It was a lot.

From beside her she could hear snickers, they were muffled, so whomever was making them were trying to cover them up. Turning her head towards the sound she spotted three girls, wearing the same gray t-shirt with the same white writing, with the same evil words written on them. They were all looking at her, their eyes moving from her to the large amount of food placed in front of her.

Ignoring them she went back to her conversation with Carly and her dorky friend, well slightly dorky friend, even she couldn't deny it, even though physically he didn't look that was, mentally he was still that small little nerdy boy.

They hadn't even noticed that she wasn't paying attention as she began to literally almost shove food into her mouth. Carly looked over at her, shaking her head, amused and slightly grossed out, Freddie looking at her also, stopping his conversation with her, looking just about as disgusted, but didn't say anything as he looked back over to Carly and started their conversation once again. Even her closest friends were disgusted by her, but she was just so hungry, so she continued to eat, but at a slower pace.

A few minutes before lunch was due to be over, the snicker girls, who hadn't let up at all during lunch got up, placing their almost none existent lunches in the trash. The tall brunette looked over at her, sensing her eyes on her, she nudged her two other friends, pointing slightly over at her and laughed.

The shorter brunette started grabbing at nothing, but making the gestures as that she was in fact grabbing some fat and jiggling it around, obviously trying to make the silent comment to her. The bother two laughing as another one patted her stomach, signalling that she had a beautiful flat tummy, than stopping, moving one of her hands to point to the loud white letters on her shirt, the tallest one taking her left index finger and started moving it in and out of her mouth, making gestures as if she was puking.

The bell finally rang and Sam hadn't felt so thankful to hear that noise, and quickly got up, every piece of food and every drop of liquid gone. She hadn't bothered to clean up her garbage, always saying that it was what janitors were for, and quickly le**f**t, not saying one word to Carly or Freddie, leaving them with questioning looks.

She hadn't meant to do it the first time, she hadn't sat around and thought about it, she hardly knew what was happening at the time, but she couldn't stop it either. Her head started pounding, and her hands twitched, her breath felt like it was stuck in her throat, and it was like her stomach was on fire, she felt it lurch, and she coughed, covering her mouth.

The girls laughing, their perfect little body's taunting her, Carly's beautiful figure and bright eyes, the judging eyes of everyone in the cafeteria, her reflection in the mirror, the lumps, the bumps, the dents, the fat, the fat, the FAT!

She couldn't take it anymore, the bathroom so close and so comforting, so safe form their eyes.

And that was the first time it happened, the first time she let herself go and be weak.

Two months later things still hadn't changed, she was still weak, and the eyes still judged her, and that reflection in the mirror caught up with h**e**r.

She knew that the puking wasn't going to do much, it would keep her maybe at a steady weight, but it wasn't guaranteed that she wouldn't gain form it. So she had taken up watching when she was eating and what she was eating, and who she was eating in front of. She was always careful to make sure that she was eating just enough in front of friends to not cause any suspicion but not too much as to have enough digested that releasing it later would make a positive difference. After all, vomiting after eating only gets ride of 50% of what you have consumed.

It all started as strict dieting, she would only eat in front of friends, and she would control herself alone, but it started getting harder and harder and soon the tension and craving set in, so much that it was all she could think about, it was so powerful that she began to sweat and tear up, she couldn't resist what was forbidden, and gave in. With the all-or-nothing mind set, she felt her diet slip and went into the zone of total failure. It was only one Fat Cake, only one, but the notion of the fact she had already blown it came in, and that she might as well go for it….that was the first week.

She cried so hard after that, she ate much more than she had ever thought she could, she had spent all of the little savings she had and went down the Jiffy Mart and bought 50 dollars' worth of food.

The happiness was so short lived, her stomach was happy for the first few boxes and bags of candy, but soon she began to feel full, tears came down her cheeks, but she continued to eat. Once she was done the guilt and self-loathing set it, and there was only one way to fix it.

And that's how the cycle began. She would diet, for a short period of time, the cravings would catch up with her, she would binge eat, the guilt would grab her by the throat and force her to release the contents of her stomach into any porcelain bowl hear her.

The slate would be clean and the next day, she would restart the cycle all over again.

She **c**ouldn't believe no one had really noticed it, but then again she always eat large amount of food. No one would ever question the missing food, or the fact that she would eat so much that even they were shocked but never gain weight, the sneaking off to the bathroom so close after meals, the smell of vomit coming off of her, or the fact that she couldn't sit still after, hoping that the movement would burn off the food faster, or the most obvious, the fact that she wouldn't eat unless someone mentioned or gave her food.

Lifting her right hand up to her forehead she could feel the scars on her knuckles, the result of the constant action of sticking her fingers down her throat, her teeth scraping them as they went on and out. They were sore and rough, they hadn't been used in over 48 hours, she had been 'sick' at home for the past two days, but she would have to face the food tomorrow, there was no way of getting out of it unless she was looking for Carly to do some probing.

She let out a muffled cry, her throat clenching in pain from the consent abuse, she had to do this, it was unhealthy to be this fat, and she would be perfec**t**, she always felt so scared right before she did this, but the knowledge of the fatty substances floating around in her stomach, probably being digested as she laid there like a fat ass she was, she was just getting fatter.

Reaching over she grabbed her last Fat Cake, the tears spilling over her eyes as she stuffed it onto her mouth, her stomach protesting the undesired food, but ignored it, finishing it off with a pop of her lips against her fingers.

Getting up she grabbed a towel and some extra clothes, she would turn the shower on so just in case her mother came home we wouldn't hear her and she would have an excuse as to be in the bathroom for so long.

Standing rigged in front of the door, she gave her stomach one last squeeze. Feeling the fat bubble and gush around her hand and in between her fingers, she knew this had to be done.

She would be perfect, or die trying.


	2. Chapter 2: Hunger Pains

**The Perfect Silhouette**

"**Those 4:00 hunger pains are striking you hard.****"**

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><p>That morning Sam was up before her alarm, which over the past two months was not unheard of. Her night's were pledged with stomach pang's and tingling pain, her joints were starting to swell, and her shoulder's stung when she moved around in her bed, causing her to lay flat on her back to ease the pain.<p>

She reached up her hand and snapped the small switch on the side of the old alarm clock to the off position, it was two minutes to seven and she didn't think her head could take the loud screech of the warning sound. She gently lifted the thick comforter around her, even though the hot sun was beaming into her room and her window had been shut, sealing any heat in the room, she was still cold beyond belief.

Sam closed her eyes, hoping that if she let her mind wander that everything would just melt away. She liked living in her dream world, were her mother cared enough about her to come home more than once every few weeks, that she wasn't alone, and that she was skinny, _pretty _and _skinny_. She dreamt that she was perfect, and sometimes she would dream that she was so perfect that she shined in comparison to Carly.

Her eyes snapped open when her stomach gave a tense squeeze, it felt as if her stomach was going to explode, tears lining the outside of her glassy eyes. Sam brought her hands up to her middle, gripping onto the fat under them and clutched it under her fingers, brittle nails digging into the sensitive skin.

Small gasps and short pants were the only thing that graced the silence of the room. Once the pain subsided she let her body relax into the mattress, a moan escaping from her swollen lips. She cried out in frustration as she kicked off her blankets, letting the cold air pick and sting her skin making her shiver.

It seemed small things like getting up in the morning were a challenge, even the simple task of showering was enough of make her wish that she could fall back into her bed and sleep forever. She had heard rumours about those who didn't eat well enough, -she refused to admit to anything, and using the big A word was a no no- would start to lose their hair sooner or later, and most of the time she would leave her hair tangled and unbrushed, too afraid to see if her own long strands of blonde hair would suffer the same fate.

That morning Sam followed the same routine, spending 20 minutes trying to convince herself to get out of bed, her mind racing trying to come up with a million excuses as to why she should stay in bed, only to come up short, and eventually throwing the covers of angrily. Then came the shower, some days she didn't feel like she could keep herself up long enough to do so, the water pounding onto her, pushing her down towards the bottom of the tub, sometimes it was too much to handle, and today was one of those days.

Deciding to skip the shower she made her way over to the small wooden dresser, pulling out a pair of slightly baggy sweat pants and a long sleeve white shirt. They had become a comfort to Sam, using the loose material to hide her shame, clocking her body from the world, but in result only making her body look smaller than it actually was, but that thought always slipped her mind.

Grabbing a clean white elastic from her jewellery box she scrunched up her hair into a ball on the top of her head, lacing her finger's throughout it, and sealing it with the tiny stretchy object, strands of hair falling freely around her face and neck, making her hair appear look more tattered than it really was.

She peeled off her pyjama shorts and tank top, leaving them in a pile at her feet, and now, she had a decision to make. She could quickly slip on the clothing she had picked out for the day, not taking a single glance at her reflection, leaving herself some speck of confidence. And then there was the option of stepping forward, into the forbidden zone, if she did she would be able to see her entire body in her large full figure mirror. On most days she would walk right up and scene her body over, picking out every blemish and imperfection, but this wasn't a normal day, this was what she like had dumbed "Binge-Day" –ironically- she never dared to look or even weigh herself after she committed the crimes of last night, gorging herself with food and then guilty releasing them back out of her body in an unnatural way. She knew she would be fatter, and she had to get rid of it, but she knew somewhere the small morsel of the greasy fatty substance was still swimming in her system.

Grabbing the straps of her bra Sam tightened them the rest of the way, hoping it would help support her chest more. Her chest was starting to become smaller, and her bra was now too big for her, the fatty tissue ripping apart and disappearing until there was almost nothing left. She would have to go bra shopping with Carly sometime, something she dreaded doing, she couldn't stand looking at her friends perfect body she stood beside her, probably embarrassing her, after all, her friend would never let her out of the double change room.

Quickly pulling the scratchy material over her body she was proud, she beat the urge to look over and just even catch a small sample of what she looked like, even though she knew. Shuffling through the top drawer of her dresser she pulled out a small purple packet and braced herself for what she was about to see.

Sam made a promise to herself when the dark circles under her eyes appeared that she would do this. Her feet patted lightly on the ground as she squinted her eyes in attempt to block out the harsh light stinging her pupils. Letting her knee's hit the carpeted flooring Sam clenched her hands into fists and finally looked up, glaring at her reflection in the mirror.

Her face wasn't anything like she had anticipated, her face didn't look shrunken in, and she didn't look skeleton like, and her eyes didn't look like they were bulging out of her face. Instead her face was extremely pale, and her pupils were dilated, and what surprised her most, her cheeks. Sam noticed they weren't hollowed out, giving her that shallow sickly look; instead they were puffy and swollen, due to the enlargement of the salivary glands, caused by her excessive vomiting,

Swallowing the tears that she could feel forming in her eyes she opened her small purple packet and dumping the contents onto the navy blue carpet under her. Sam picked up the plastic tube and squirted the fleshy liquid into her hands and began to apply it to her thin, brittle skin. She had to do this every morning, her skin was so pale and warn, and to lighten the dark circles appearing under her eyes from lack of nutrition and sleep, and if she didn't, the peachy tint of the foundation would make her face look close to a lively.

Patting her face gently as to not leave streaks she set the bottle down and went for the facial brush and a square container of red cherry blush. Swirling the fine tips of the brush around she quickly wiped it across her face, leaving the small partials of bright red in its tracks.

Sam finished administering the rest of the make-up into her face she packed it back up into the packet and threw it right into the open drawer. Giving her face a once over she stood up, grabbed the sweater off the head of her bed, along with a pair of mismatched socks, she prepared to make the journey to school.

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><p>It happened almost every day, 5 days a week. During a certain time period for those five days her hands would sweat, her head would spin and her palms would become sweaty with anxiety. Those five days, during that dreadful hour she would look around, look around at all the beautiful girls, with their loving boyfriends, would stuff their faces, perfect teeth biting down onto the fatty foods, but not gaining a pound.<p>

And her friend Carly Shay was one of them.

Sam couldn't help but clench her hands into fists as she watched the small girl eat, the grease gleaming off the pizza, looking as though it would drip right off, and she felt her stomach constrict.

_That bitch_, a voice echoed in her head, it was familiar, but unknown, she knew the thoughts in her head were not from her, but they sounded like her. She ignored it, as it had become something almost normal over the past month.

She continued to glare at her friend form across the table, she flipped her long silky locks behind her shoulder, setting the pizza down and whipping the greasy substance form her fingertips. Freddie didn't seem effected by her beauty, over the past year the longing looks and adoring glances vanished, and were slowly replaced by friendly smiles and caring gestures.

A light voice broke through her thoughts, a small finger poking her in the shoulder, "Sam are you alright?"

Sam looked up into Carly's worried brown eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine why?"

"I don't know, you just seem a little out of it, I mean you've hardly touched your food," She looked down to her tray Carly was pointing at, she still had another slice of pizza, dripping and swimming in fat, and two fat cakes, rolled in fat, and two egg rolls, soaked in fat.

Well what she was getting at, it was fatty.

It was a slightly smaller meal than Carly usually packed her, due to her mother packing her small brown paper bags full of mouldy and un edible foods, such as a C battery, but Carly had mentioned how packing a large lunch for Sam and herself was leaving less and less for them to share between them, but Sam wasn't complaining.

"Yeah, I mean she only just ate two and a half slices of pizza," Freddie chimed in, mocking Carly's comment.

Sam shifted nervously in her seat, trying to remind herself to keep her legs closed, slightly hovering over her chair. Before either of her friends arrived she had placed a few thick napkins from the cafeteria on her chair, and whenever her two brunette friends were occupied with each other she would rip off large pieces of food and throw them into her lap.

"Oh, I guess I'm just tired, my mother had her 'friend' over again and I didn't get a lot of sleep," she explained, "If you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do," Carly scrunched up her nose in disgust while Freddie chuckled at her discomfort.

Carly ignored them and once again picked up the pizza, taking another delicate bite, the liquid staining her pearly whites. Sam would have been thankful for the distraction, but she would see Freddie eyeing her out of the corner of her eye, munching down on his own food, she clenched onto her jacket, which was odd since it was near the end of June, and looked down at her pizza.

Trying to keep calm, she lifted her hands slowly up around the corners of the pizza, fingers running over the hard crust, and she brought it to her mouth. Her stomach lurched, the muscles squeezed together, and her toes curled as she could feel the hot oil danced in her mouth, filling every inch and crack of her mouth, her lips shining as it dripped out.

Sam felt her throat tightened as she prepared to swallow, her eyes watered as she felt her airways clog and almost suffocate her. She smiled smugly at Freddie as the pizza made its way down her esophagus and into her stomach, and she could almost feel herself bloating, getting fatter and fatter.

There were times when she couldn't avoid putting anything into her, she had already consumed an egg roll and half a can of fruit juice and she was feeling sicker and sicker. The only thing Sam could think about was getting out of there and releasing the contents of her stomach into world.

Carly's loud groan of disprovement slammed into the wall Sam and Freddie had made with their eyes, making both of the teens look over at their friend. She was currently lifting up her dark purple shirt; a large dark spot stained the light fabric as she pouted.

"I can't believe this; this is like the only clean shirt I have left!" She took a napkin off her tray and proceeded to wipe the stain, hoping it would go away.

"Didn't you wear that yesterday?" Freddie asked looking her over.

"No, I wore it the day before that," she told him, "Spencer's making a sculpture using women's clothing; he took most of my shirts without asking, so now I have nothing to wear!"

"What is it?" Freddie asked, trying to keep up the conversation. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Sam ripping off a large portion of the pizza placing it at the edge of the table, and worked on the egg roll, tearing it in half and putting it beside the mangled pizza.

"I don't know, he won't tell me," Carly complained, "He even stole all of my bras," she whispered.

He could see Sam quickly, thinking no one was looking since he had his face and body shifted towards her, push them off the table into her lap, "I only have the one I'm wearing right now," she went on.

"Oh Sam!" Carly screeched, Sam looked up with an almost panicked expression, like she had been caught, "I remember what I was going to tell you earlier, I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping Saturday, I need some new shirts and maybe a few pairs of pants, and probably stop at build-a-bra."

"Oh, um, sure I guess," Sam stuttered, she couldn't think of a legitimate excuse to get out of it. Over the past almost three months now, Sam had used every excuse she could out of shopping, outings that would involve large amounts of food and even staying at Carly's for dinner. Carly new every excuse and how to get around it, her brain was to frazzled that she couldn't think of anything, so she had no other choice but to cave.

"Awesome," Carly cheered, "You should really get some new clothes too, I mean you have to stop wearing those sweats everywhere."

"Sounds fun." Carly jumped in her seat, not noticing her friends less than thrilled tone. "Oh Freddie you should come too," this caught Sam's attention, she could handle Carly, but she couldn't help but feel almost nervous trying on clothes in front of Freddie, though she didn't see him as much of anything, he was still a guy. Sam felt as though he would judge her and compare her to Carly, and that made her head hurt.

"Yeah!" Carly went on, obviously ignoring her friends looks, "We could go shopping in the morning, maybe go to the arcade, grab some lunch, do some more shopping, go by build a bra," she gushed excitedly, "Oh and don't worry Freddie, I'll make sure we don't torture you too much, it'll be fun for all of us, I promise!"

Both Freddie and Sam nodded their heads in agreement, neither really looking forward to going, both for different reasons. Freddie didn't think he would find the day enjoyable, being around two girls shopping, asking him what he thought and if they looked fat, asking him to switch sizes and find specific items, the only thing he looked forward too would be the food court, they always had the best food.

Sam didn't think she could handle all the walking, her energy level had subsided to almost nothing, she would hardly walk to her next class without feeling almost winded. She would also be expected to eat the large fatty foods they served there, and she didn't think she could find a way to avoid it, since she would be with her friends every minute, with school she could sneak into the cafeteria early and fix up her napkins, but now she was cornered.

Not to mention the fact that she would be staring at Carly the whole time, her body filling out the dresses, the jeans the tight shirts to perfection while she bulged out in all the wrong places. That in itself was a whole other battle.

"Alright, this will be so fun, I'm already excited," Carly smiled, picking up her empty tray and standing up, throwing her dirty napkins and plastic plate into the trash, "Well I'm going to head out now, class starts in 10 minutes, you coming Sam?"

"I'll be there in a minute, I just have to go to the bathroom, I drank a lot of juice today," she picked up her juice can and took a large gulp, her head screaming every second.

"Well hurry up, Mr. Harrison is going to kill you if you continue to be late for class," Carly told her sternly, wagging her finger at her.

"Yes ma'am," she laughed.

"Watch it."

She watched Carly turn around, Freddie during that time had made his way over to the trash and dumped the crust and pop can out, unmoving. Quickly she gathered the full napkin, and placed the remaining food into it, and placed it onto the bright red tray, feeling proud that she had made it through another day.

Walking up to the trash she nudged Freddie with her boney elbow, making him jump, "What are you doing, going to wait here for me to leave and take Carly's pop can out of the trash and drink form it?" she laughed at her own joke, she and Carly both new Freddie's feelings had changed, just by the way he acted, but she couldn't help but make a joke at his expense, she was still Sam after all.

Freddie groaned, not being able to come up with a suitable come back and watched her as she proceeded to let the contents of her tray fall down into the plastic bag rimmed trash, and walk out the double doors towards the bathroom.

Looking down into the trash he was surprised by what he saw, almost every piece of food Sam had on her tray, besides the bites he actually witnessed her eating, were laying there on top of His own and Carly's clean licked plates.

And he didn't know what to make of what he just witnessed.


	3. Chapter 3: Mirror, Mirror

**The Perfect Silhouette**

"**Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fattest of them all?"**

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><p>Sam had waited until she heard the last bell ring before she stepped into the bathroom; she wanted to make sure there was no chance of anyone walking in on her. She was feeling very uncomfortable about what had happened at lunch, though she was not surprised, the day after she purged was one of the hardest, she felt gross and disgusting the day after, but after lunch, when she was alone, she felt the need to go back into the lunch room and dig through the trash until she found her unfinished food and eat until she exploded.<p>

All she could think about was food, it was her best friend and her worst enemy, but I was all that ever consumed her mind. She loved the smell of it, the feel of it, even the look of it, and all she ever wanted to do was be around it, but not eat it, being around it, you never eat it, and that's what she had done, she had broken her rule, and now she had to pay for it.

_You've been a naughty girl Sammi,_ the voice swirled around her. Sam covered her ears, she didn't want to hear the voice telling her how bad she had been, she knew it, _Why do you do this to me?_

"I'm not doing anything to you," she growled into the air.

_But you are Sammi, you're making me so sad, _The voice told her, _All I'm doing is trying to help you, you want to be pretty right?_

She paused for a moment, she felt like there was almost another presence in the room, like someone was behind her, but when she turned around, no one was there, _Why do you always have to ignore me, you never listen to me anymore, you used to listen to me before._

Sam began to become nervous, she wouldn't lie to herself that she had heard this voice before, months ago when she first started all this, but she never thought much of it, and gave into whatever she was thinking. Sam never really gave this voice a second thought, never acknowledged it, never replied to it, but she would follow every instruction given by it, but soon she started going off the tracks three weeks into it.

She would buy candy, feeling so weak that she just couldn't contain or restrain herself, but after three weeks of nothing other than water and rice she couldn't stop. She only wanted that one slice of pizza, she swore that's all she wanted, but everything seemed to come crashing down in that moment where she lost control, where she went to the store down the street, bought 35 dollars' worth of candy and sweets and gave into the craving.

She ate and ate, shoving more and more food down her throat even when she knew she was full and her stomach couldn't take anymore, but she still unwrapped every last piece of chocolate, every single Fat Cake ripped open, every package of candy eaten, and chugged down every last drop of high calorie soda, until she felt her body burst, and she loved every minute of it.

She loved the sweet taste on her tongue, the way it stuck to her teeth and the smooth feeling of it sliding down her throat. She felt a natural high from it, the happy feeling sending large amounts of endorphins to her brain, making her smile, her eyes rolling into the back of her head, but it all ended in a flash.

It was like that day three weeks before, she couldn't control what happened than, and it seemed to have taken a life of its own. The carbon form the pop and the sugar didn't seem to mix, it twirled and danced in her stomach, and she soon could feel it building up in her body. She couldn't stand, her head spun and eyes blurred and she wasn't able to stop what came next.

The combination made its unstoppable way up, shooting straight into her esophagus. She tried to contain it in her mouth, the mixture swishing around her tongue and teeth, but it became too much as more and more piled up and she had to breath, and let it spill out over her lips and onto the carpet.

"Just leave me alone," she said annoyed, making her way over to the stalls.

_You wouldn't want that, you need me,_ it laughed, knowing all too well.

"I don't need you; I've never needed you, or anyone else!" Sam screamed over the voice, gripping onto the cold metal of the stall beside her.

_Don't lie to yourself Sammi, you've always needed me, you don't even seem to realize what a disgusting mess you would be without me,_ the voice's tone was low and harsh.

"I've lived long enough without you, so shows how much you know," Sam laughed smugly, not even noticing that she in fact to an outside person, would be talking to herself.

_And you can see how well that worked out huh? _the voice laughed along with her, Sam's dying down along with it, _Look at you, your chubby cheeks, your thunder thighs, your bulging stomach, but you're getting better Sammi with my help, soon you'll be beautiful._

Sam let her hands caress down her stomach, and she bet if she actually looked down she would be able to see the fat hanging out from under the baggy shirt, _So you see it huh?_

Sam couldn't deny that it was right, it had taken care of her for the two months, three months tomorrow, and she wouldn't have made it this far, wouldn't have had that much ambition to keep this up if it hadn't given her the helping words and caring suggestions.

_It's nice to know that your finally seeing things my way, don't worry my Sammi, everything will be fine, I'll take care of you nice and good,_ the voice cooed.

"This isn't right," Sam muttered.

_Stop contradicting me Sammi, I've been with you for so long, and yet you have yet to thank me, _the voice sounded angry, _You would be NOTHING without me, so how about you shut up and listen!_

"You're not real though, you're in my head," she whispered, almost trying to hide it form the voice.

_I'm as real as you want me to be,_ it told her gently, _I've done everything, and will continue to do everything, in my power to help you, to make you happy, because I care Sammi._

"How can you care about me, you're not real," Sam was becoming nervous, she felt as if she was going insane.

_You're not insane Sammi, your just scared that no one will love you, but I do, _Sam felt as if she could even feel the voice smile while it spoke, _I care about you, that's why I'm doing this._

Sam nodded her head, almost afraid to speak, _Oh Sammi, I'm so glad you finally agree, _it cheered, _Now let's see if you can remember what we do when we break the rules, can you do it?_

"Yeah," She said mindlessly, almost like something was controlling her body and she wasn't about to stray away from it, letting it take over her.

Sam began to walk towards the stall, opening it enough to let herself in, _And don't forget Sammi, this is our little secret, because you wouldn't want them to take you away from me right?_

Sam shook her head again, the voice smiling again, even though she couldn't see it, she could just feel it against her skin, making her shiver.

"What are you?" she questioned, the hold on her body seemed to disappear as she asked the question that she had plagued her mind for weeks.

She felt a shiver run down her spine and her body grow cold, the voice was laughing, but the screech scratching her ears, but as the echo she was so used to, so comfortable with turned into a solid voice, she felt her face pale and her blood grow cold.

She was afraid to turn around, every inch of her mind was telling her to run, to close her eyes and forget all about this, but her being Sam never listened to common scene, and her curiosity took over, and she turned around.

Her body stiffened, her mouth open in a silent scream. She pressed her back against the hard gray metal of the bathroom stall, fingers curled around the sides to hold herself up.

She was met with her own face, her body, her eyes, and her hair, but it was different. The body was closer to the mirror than she, cutting off at the shoulders, her face a thin and tan, eyes bright with excitement, and her hair placed perfectly at her sides, smiling brightly at her with pure white teeth.

"I'm you."


	4. Chapter 4: One And Only

**A/N: To be honest: I almost cried when I wrote this chapter. Its based off of a friend of mine and I'm worried about her and her eating disorder. She'll only eat crackers and veggies now but she throws up a lot and I want to help her but its hard... I love her very much and I'm trying to help her as best I can so this chapter and most of this story is dedicated to her.**

* * *

><p>Lemonwater. It was one of the weight loss tips Sam had found online and she was eager to try it out. The tip was that drinking the water would shrink your stomach and limit you from taking in so much food. Powering down the school Library's pear pad (This was the closest food related item Sam was willing to touch) and hurried out of the backdoor of the building, hoping to avoid both Freddie and Carly, but she wasn't as lucky that day.<p>

"Samantha Pucket!" The shrill voice of Marissa Benson struck the girl's ears like a steal drum.

Slowly turning around, Sam saw the brunette leaning out her blue cadalac'a window, her son and his friend in the back seats. Slowly Sam waved over to the three, hoping that was all she wanted was for her to say hello, but this was soon proven false when Marissa reached over and opened the passenger seat door.

"Hop in honey." She called over, patting the seat, acting more bubbly than usual.

"No thanks Mrs.B. I can walk home. It's only a few blocks." Sam called back over, about to walk away when she suddenly heard Carly's voice behind her.

"Aren't you going to the mall with us Sam? Remember? Their having that sale and Glitter Gloss and Build a Bra!" She called over, causing Freddie to groan in discomfort at the thought of being dragged through those girly stores.

Sam stopped dead in her tracks and quickly thought it over. How could she forget that 80% off everything sale that she and Carly had spent months saving up for so that they could buy up half of the store? Slowly turning back around, Sam could feel the baggy fabric of her current bra scraping lightly at her sensitive ribs. It was now three sizes to big and only getting bigger has the days went on. She really could us a new one, and in her head she was already thinking of the perfect bra. It would be gray, the same gray color as her beloved 'Eat Less' shirt, which she remembered was now trapped at the bottom of her laundry hamper which she knew neither her nor her mother would touch. Sneering slightly in disgust Sam was suddenly determined to get that shirt clean, forgetting completely about the lemonwater by now.

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Yeah I'm coming. But can we stop off at my house first? I forgot my money at home." Sam forced a cherry tone into her voice as she ran over to the car and got in.

"Sure thing sweety." Mrs. Benson said as she started the car and took off down the road in the direction of Sam's house and like Sam had said, it was only a few blocks away so the car ride was short.

"I'll be a minute." Sam called as she unbuckled her seat belt and ran up to the front door of her house and quickly tried to find her keys but much to her surprise, she found that the door was unlocked.

Slowly she pushed it open and expected to find a robbery in progress but we surprised when she found her mom, standing in the kitchen, stirring a pot of Lord only knows what.

"Sam." She greeted gruffly as her daughter entered the house.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Sam asked as she stepped into the living room and then to the kitchen as slowly as she had opened the door.

"Its my house, and... I've kinda been going to my counselor again and he says I should spend more time at the house with you." Pam stated simply as she lifted the spoon she had mixed out of the pot. "Here come taste this."

"Let me guess. He would return your calls unless you did?" Sam muttered as she set her bookbag on the table. "And what is it?"

"Yes and no to that first one ands it alfredo." Pam muttered as she held out the spoon for Sam, who took it and looked it over. "Its not poison Sammy, just try it."

With the voices screaming in Sam's head for her to stop, she stuck out her pink tongue and licked the edge of the spoon. It may have been years since her mom made this sauce but she still hadn't lost her touch. The sauce was warm, bitter-sweet and creamy, the way Sam and Mel always loved it as kids.

"Its good mom." Sam muttered as she handed back the spoon. "Oh and I'm going to the mall with Freddie and Carls."

Though she knew her mother wouldn't care, she still told her this.

"Be home by seven thirty. Dinners at eight." Just then a ring cut off her mother's voice.

Sam made a quick note to count tonight's dinner as one of her binge nights and then looked around the room quickly.

"What the hell is that?" Sam muttered as she covered her ears.

"Those would be both the brownies I made for desert and the laundry." Pam answered as she took out said treat then went to the other room where the washing machine was.

"You actually did the laundry today?" Sam started but was cut off by a question of her mother's.

"Hey Sammy. Where'd you get this shirt at?"

"Which one?" Sam called as she left the kitchen and headed back towards the front door.

"This Eat Less one." Sam's blood stopped cold when her mother said this. "What kinda shirt is this? Do they want girl's to feel bad about themselves?"

_'You bitch! That shirt is helping me!' _Sam thought bitterly. "I got it from Carly mom!"

"I never did like that Carly chick." Her mother mumbled but her voice soon picked up strength. "When you two were kids she always seemed to put you down. She called you fat that time you stole her sandwich. You were only 75 pounds! You needed that sandwich!"

Sam thought about that memory, about when she weighed less than Carly. Until Carly gave her that damn sandwich! Her mom was right! Carly not only put her down but she was also trying to make her fat even when they had first met.

"I'll be home later mom." Sam called as she opened the front door and left then headed back to the car, a cloud of rage hung over her head.

"OK Sammy, love you." Her mom called after her, causing Sam to stop dead in her tracks.

"Love you to mom." She called back gently as she took her sweet time getting to the car.

Her mom just said she loved her? She just said she loved a fat blob...? Shaking her head quickly, she picked up her pace and rushed back to the car.

* * *

><p>Sam leaned against the marble fountain outside of 'Build a Bra, feeling very tired and weak.<p>

"Hey Sam!" The annoyingly high pitched voice that belonged to her friend Carly rang out

Sam looked up and forced a smile on her face and waved,

"Hey Carls, wheres Fredweird?" Sam asked, raising her voice a few octaves higher to hide the true pain she felt.

"He said he couldn't come today, something about a flea bath or something like that." Carly answered linking there arms and walking in the direction of the store.

Sam forced a laugh out of the pit of her empty stomach, but stopped instantly as her stomach began to gurgled loudly.

"You hungry Sam?" Carly asked stopping dead in her tracks "We can get some lunch first if you want."

"Nah, I'm fine." Sam lied just as her stomach growled again.

"No you are, come on." Carly dragged her friend in the direction of the food court.

The smell of food was driving her crazy.

"What do you want Sam?" Carly asked.

"Fried chicken." Sam forced herself to say.

"OK, one salad, and a piece of friend chicken." Carly told the employee, who nodded and started to fill their order.

Sam looked at the fried chicken, floating in a tub of fat. The little bubbles made the food look as though it was moving, dancing, laughing.

"Your so hungry Sam, you want to eat Sam, you want to eat US Sam." The chicken laughed as a bubble of grease popped making Sam drool.

"Ma'am, your chicken." The employee said handing Sam her plate.

Sam said a silent thank you and sat down with Carly and took a bite of her chicken. It tasted so good yet bitter at the same time. IT slithered down her throat while her head screamed, begging her to stop. She forced the chicken down her throat and after three bites stood up.

"I gotta wazz." Not waiting for Carly to respond she took off in the direction of the bathroom

She locked the stall door and bent down and instantly her chicken came back up. Straightening back up she looked at the vomit and smiled.

"That will teach you." Sam laughed flushing the toilet.  
>Yesterday, 5:04pm<p>

Sam stepped out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, but in place of her face was the one she saw in the school bathroom. The beautiful her. Her perfect pink lips parted, reveling the bottoms of her pearly whites.

"Don't do that to us again Sam." It said, its lips twitching into a frown.

"I didn't want Carly to know." Sam whimpered not being able to take her eyes away from the face in the mirror.

"Don't you see Sam?" The face smiled widely "Shes trying to make you fat, she doesn't care about you Sam, but I do."

"Carly would never do that." Sam whispered softly.

"Yes she would, she was the one who got you the shirt, she was the one who made you wear it, she was the one who forced you to eat." The voice hissed

Sam's eyes widen and she silently gasped.

"That little bitch!" Sam yelped "I thought she was my friend!"

"I'm your friend Sam, I care about you. I am your only friend, I'm the only one who cares about you. and if you were my friend you would only talk to me and listen to me and me only."

Sam nodded.

"I listen to you and you only." She repeated.

"Very good." The image suddenly melted to beck to her real face, it looked pale and swollen, but also fat, very fat. "Remember I am saving you from this."


	5. Chapter 5: Ones Who Love You

**A/N: As you all probably know by now, I've adopted this story a while back. Now I've been looking through the chapters I wrote and compared them to the original and I felt they were to short, so I've begun to re-do them. **

* * *

><p>For four days now Freddie could not stop thinking of what he saw. Two full slices of pizza just laying in the trash, forgotten by the very girl who he has seen eat almost an entire family size meat lovers in less than an hour.<p>

_'Calm down Freddie, maybe she just wasn't hungry that day... Then again, when isn't Sam hungry? Maybe she just wasn't feeling good. Oh who am I kidding, somethings wrong I just know it! Maybe Carly knows something, Oh geez, calm down! It was just pizza!'_

Freddie was suddenly ripped from his thoughts by the sound of the final bell ringing and went to find Sam in the ever crowded halls. It was a short sprint to the blonde's locker but on this particular day it felt like a mile. When he got there Sam had already slammed the metal door to her locker and started for the exit.

"Hey Sam!" He called after her.

The girl stopped dead in her tracks and after a brief pause turned around.

"Whats up Freddifer?" Sam asked smirking a tad but frowned when she saw that the name had no effect on the boy. "Whats up with you? You seem alil scared, let me guess, they canceled 'Galaxy Wars'."

"Sam, we need to talk." Freddie answered.

Sam sighed, then turned on her heels and turned to leave, allowing her oversized shirt to swirl around her like a dress.

"Gee, sounds like fun but I've got things to do." She said letting out a forced laugh.

"Like what?" Freddie asked.

He felt a bit of relief when Sam stopped and spun back around.

"Homework."

_'Lie'_

"Come on Sam, since when do you do your homework?" Freddie sneered putting a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Since I wanted to get good grades." Sam answered plainly. "That a problem?"

Freddie kept his hand on her shoulder as he processed everything she said and picked it apart, hoping to get some answers from them.

"And since when do you stop eating?" Freddie said at last.

Sam's face paled and her eyes widened. It was a long five minutes before she made any type of movement. Once again she turned on her heels and stomped towards the door.

"Since I found out what they actually put in the school pizza!" Sam called after him, leaving Freddie dumbstruck.

_'That makes sense, yeah. Thats probably whats going on. Sam may be a bottomless pit but that doesn't mean she's eat anything.'_ Freddie thought as he picked up his backpack and left in the opposite direction as Sam.

On his way out the door, he spotted his brown haired friend still at her locker. Taking in a deep breath, he quickened his pace and suddenly found himself at the girl's side.

"Hey Carly." He heard himself say without even thinking.

"Oh, hey Freddie." The girl greeted him with a wide smile but then frowned when she saw that look on his face. "Whats wrong? You look upset."

He paused, trying to think of how to word his concerns. _'Hey Carly, I think your best friend of all time who you've known forever and know all her secrets may be keeping a life threatening secret from you.' _Heck no, he had to find another way to slip it into the conversation.

"Has Sam been acting a little- off, lately?" Not as subtle as he had hoped it to be but it was decent. "Like when you two went shopping the other day?"

Carly lifted her backpack from it's hook and then turned to face her male friend completely. Her eyes suddenly shot to the upper corner of her eye and she looked to be pondering over the question and calling back the memory. Finally her eyes landed back on him and she smiled her usual smile.

"Can't say she has been." The girl answered, swinging her backpack onto her shoulder and closing the locker door. "Why you ask?"

"Well, the other day I noticed she had a lot of pizza left over from her lunch, but she just threw it away." Freddie answered, suddenly blunt about his worries.

Carly's response was an odd one, considering the type of person she was. She turned on her heeled boots and laughed lightly at what he had just said.

"That's kind of weird. She did the same thing with her chicken wing." Carly said, still smiling.

"And that didn't concern you in any way shape or form?" Freddie asked, folding his arms over his chest and frowning when Carly's face still didn't change.

"No. When she didn't eat it all she said she had to go to the bathroom." The smaller girl gave a knowing nod before she continued. "Which usually just means shes on her period."

Freddie's face exploded in red at the use of the P word, and even though that was very likely the answer to what was wrong, he still wasn't convinced.

"I'm not sure about that Carly." Freddie said sternly. "I seriously think something is wrong."

Carly looked surprised at his sudden change in tone and attitude. It wasn't like him to be so worked up over Sam's well being. At this point she let her smile fall, suddenly feeling like there was in fact something very wrong.

"We should go talk to her." She said, suddenly taking off in the direction of the exit.

Her male friend shook his head and followed after her. Mainly because he had no idea where Sam's house was.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the girl of the hour was back in her Seattle apartment. As usual, she was locked up in her bathroom, just finished with her afternoon ritual which she had to skip at school because of Fredward. After words, she prepared to take a shower to wash off any additional vomit that did not make it to the toilet.<p>

Watching the pressed powder flutter from her swollen cheeks was always such a pitiful sight. Her brave face was now littering the bathroom floor. The remains of her lipstick were found smeared on the sleeve of her sweat shirt, which was now tossed in a hamper where in would be forgotten until the day when she was out of 'clean' clothes. Her maschera and false skin were washed away by warm water and hot tears. By now she couldn't tell the difference between her dark circles and leftover bits of eye shadow.

With her mask gone she turned away from the bathroom mirror and slunk into her empty bath and started the shower and layed back, not bothering to change the temperature, because all water make her feel as if she was being stabbed each time it touched her. After a few minutes of this she finally had the strength to sit up and pour a sticky glob of purple soap onto a wet sponge and washed herself. The suds smelled like food, like grapes. Something Sam usually hated but now she wanted to eat a whole gallon of them, including the rinds. The scent and steam started to get to her already dizzy head. As she opened her eyes and felt as if she had just awoken from a long but wonderful dream she tasted the bitter bubbles dripping from her pale lips.

Shaking her head, she wiped her lips and finished her shower and stumbled out into the hall and pulled on a grey oversized T-shirt with letters that had faded from being left in the dark for so long. Stepping back into the bathroom, just to make sure she hadn't gotten caught eating the wonderful scented soap she peered at the mirror and to her relief it was fogged over.

**Knock knock**

Sam began to panic abit. Being caught without her mask would be a huge give-away. In a quick effort to hide herself she rolled on a face mask and opened the door. Sure enough, who would be at her front door but Carly Shay, and right behind her. Freddie Benson.

"Sam..." Carly started, looking very concerned as she stepped in, not waiting to be invited.

"Yeah?" Sam asked wrinkling her nose at the girl and her pet monkey as the entered into her home.

"Sam... Are you OK?" Carly asked.

"Yes. Why did the school call your house again and tell you about how I slapped my history teacher again? Cause I swear he was hitting on me!" Sam said, narrowing her eyes and raising her voice, in typical Sam nature.

"No, no they didn't... You just haven't been yourself lately." Carly said still sounding concerned.

"How so?" Sam asked, knowing exactly what she meant.

"You've just been cranky lately and you haven't finished any of the lunches I made you and-." Carly was cut off by Sam's hand covered her mouth.

A sudden anger over took Sam. Of course, Carly's only concern would be on those stupid, calorie filled lunches. It shook Sam to the very core that she ever pretended to be friends with that bitch. Without even thinking, she began to speak.

"I'm gonna stop you right there princess." Sam said in a slight growl. "Maybe I haven't been eating lately cause everything you make tastes like shit and maybe I'm 'cranky' cause you force me to eat shit just to make you fucking happy!"

Letting her hand drop, she watched as Carly gasped and covered her own lips, looking a mix of shock and hurt. Quickly though, she regained her composer and dropped her hands at her side. Sam may not be one that could normally be reasoned with, but Carly was going to try. With a deep breath, she looked up at Sam.

"Sam, this isn't like you at all." Carly said sternly, taking a step forward as Same took one back.

"Then what is like me, Shay? The trouble making bottomless pit that you know and love?" Sam snapped sarcastically, not holding back anymore.

"No! Like Samantha Pucket! You are my best friend Sam! If you're doing something harmful then please tell us!" Carly all but begged of her.

"What makes you think I'm doing something harmful? What, just because I threw out some tainted pizza and oily chicken suddenly I'm a maniac!?" Sam shot back, casting a glare at Freddie, who by now had chosen a bout of silence.

"Because I saw the pizza on your tray." Freddie snapped suddenly, his voice cruel and cold. "Carly only freaked out because I brought it up."

"Well maybe you two should stop worrying about nothing and go back to your stupid webshow. How about for next weeks episode you go eat some fucking razor blades. That'll be funny!" Sam barely recognized the voice that had just spoken, it wasn't her own... It belonged to the Sam in the mirror.

"Well maybe we will! And it will be an episode without you!" Carly snapped, uncaring of the fact that her comment made no sense.

Sam couldn't help but smirk abit as Carly quickly went to the door and left. Her lips then dropped as little as she smiled, and was about to go to her room when she saw Freddy was still there, sitting casually in a nearby kitchen chair. His gaze was deadly and pointed at her stomach. Her fat, lumpy stomach.

"Why are you still here?" Sam growled, folding her arms in an attempt to hide herself.

"I know you're lying Sam." He said, his voice sounding both hurt and angry.

"And how do you know, _Freddie_?" What he said next, surprised her.

"You are obviously in a lot of pain, Sam." He muttered, referring to the way she would cradle her empty stomach at school when she thought that no one was watching.

The blonde's eyes widened in surprise at this. In all of her years of knowing the nerd, she never took him for a detail fanatic. Much to her horror, her stomach took this moment to growl loudly, providing the male with more evidence of her after school activity. In her mind, the two halves of herself were at war, both wanting to respond to the boy. One wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave forever, and the other wanted to beg him to stay and help her. It was obvious, which voice got to speak.

"You don't know that for sure, Benson." She hissed lowly.

"Why don't you try using your own voice, instead of your body to tell us why you are hurting, to tell us what you need." Freddie pressed, giving Sam one last chance to tell him the truth.

_'I'm trying! Please help me!'_

_'I am! And I'm telling you to go away!' _

_'Don't go!' _

_'Go!'_

"Get out of here. Theres nothing to tell you, and there is nothing I need." She said in a flat tone, hoping that this would make him go away.

Freddie stayed in his spot, staring at the blonde woman, specifically at her stomach and then at her eyes, searching for any sign of lie. All he found in them was defeat. Slowly, he stood up, knowing that there was nothing he could do about this now, not in a place like this and not while she was all riled up. He made a quick mental note,and walked towards the door and opened it. Suddenly, he turned to Sam, and made a comment that shook Sam, even the mirror one.

"I like your shirt." His voice was bitter grim, not at all the voice she was used to hearing.

It sounded foreign to her. Almost as if the Freddie in front of her was an imposter with Freddie's face, or at least what resembled Freddie's face. She had seen his eyes before and knew that they never looked that dark. Watching in surprise, her jaw clenched together, the sound of a closing door echoing out through the empty house. She thought over his comment, and with curious eyes, Sam looked down at the baggy shirt she was wearing and thats when she saw the white letters on the shirt.

'Eat Less'


	6. Chapter 6: Walk Right Passed Her

****The Perfect Silhouette****

_They see something standing out, so they just walk away_

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><p>In the crowd of rushing high school students, Sam felt that she stood out the most, and not in a good way. She felt like she stood out more than a sore thumb or an elephant in the room. No, she was much bigger than any elephant you could fit in a room. She was more like the hernia in the perfectly slim stomach that made up the High School. She made this school imperfect and it drove her to tears sometimes. Never the less, she was forced to attend this God forsaken place every day and deal with the sick reality that was her life.<p>

_'Just two more days, and it'll be the weekend.' _She thought, dragging her sore legs as she made her way to her locker. _'Seven more hours and then you can go home.' _

Sam sighed heavily and reached up a shaking hand to twist the knob on the metal door of her locker. 26, 27, 26 had been her combination for a while now, and it was so easy that her stupid mind could remember it without even thinking. The tumblers fell neatly into place and the locker door squeaked on its hinges as it was pulled open, sending an avalanche of books down onto her. She caught the books quickly, wincing as a sudden, burning pain shot through to her stomach as she bent down to pick up anything that might have fallen. A sudden crash of nausea overcame her and half of her just wanted to run to the bathroom to throw up again and the other half wanted to curl up on the floor and die.

_'Bad idea... Its first period, so the bathrooms are going to be full.' _This was something she had taken note of a few days back, so she knew it would be better not to risk it.

Instead, she straightened herself out and took several deep breaths until her stomach finally settled again and the pain dulled a tad. It was 7:45AM and classes began in five minutes, so now would be the time to get heading, or at least it would have been, had a voice not called out to Sam. She turned a quarter of the way, expecting to see Freddweird or that bitch Carly. She was surprised however, when she didn't see any of them, but instead she saw Gibby.

"W-what do you want Gibs?" Sam huffed coldly, turning to face the other with a disproving look.

She looked the male over, taking note of spiky hair and polo shirt. It may have been a good look if it was one anyone else, but it in no way suited him. Much like Sam with her size XS 'Eat Less' T-shirt and that messy blonde hair of hers. It didn't really matter what she thought though, so instead she forced a painful half smirk onto her lips and folded her arms over her flat chest. Her baggy sweater billowed around her hips like a very short sundress as she did this, but she ignored the action.

"Hey, Sam." He began, copying the girl's actions of folding his arms over his chest. "Just came by to see if you were okay."

Panic mode suddenly set into the pit of the girl's empty stomach and it quickly began to rise. She couldn't tell what he meant by that lone sentence. If he had talked to Carly or Freddie or if she was just that obvious. Either way, he somehow knew that something was wrong with her.

"Um, yeah I'm fine." Sam said quickly, faking innocence even though it hurt her. "Why you ask? Was Freddie or Carly wondering?"

She stopped and quickly scoped the hallways for the two in question, but Gibby smiled his usual smile suddenly and patted her on the shoulder, this capturing her attention. While the smile was like him, that pat was not, and for some reason it took him a whole minute of just smiling to finally find the right words to answer her question. Finally taking his hand away, he shrugged simply and said-

"You just dropped your book on yourself." He said simply, pointing to the ones in her hands. "Didn't you pull something in gym yesterday anyway? I just thought it might have hurt picking them up."

"What? Oh yeah!" Sam said as casually as possible, adding in a laugh that shook her sore ribs. "Nah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking."

"No prob." Gibby said with a quick not of the head while relief settled in place of panic for Sam.

She then straightened up a little bit more, making herself appear a bit taller and 'casually' rubbed her stomach. The event that Gibby was referring to happened just the day before in gym as he had said. Along with her binge eating, Sam also began to work out like crazy as well. This lead to several sore and pulled muscles, or at least that's what it felt like to her. Regardless, she was just glad that Gibby didn't suspect a thing and after that he simply turned around and left, leaving Sam to prepare for her next class alone. She was so engrossed in her actions that she didn't notice the two males across the hallway.

One was the lovable bookworm, Freddie. The other was their awkward friend who had just spoken to Sam, Gibby. Both were facing a touch away from the girl but still enough that they could see her at her locker. Quietly, Gibby began to whisper to Freddie.

"Something is definitely up with Sam." Gibby said, sounding a bit surprised.

"How can you tell?" Freddie asked curiously. "What did she say?"

"Shes really small under that sweater." Gibby said in a matter of fact way, making Freddie's eyes widen. "Like not really small, but smaller."

"Say wah!" The brunette exclaimed, but then hushed himself just in case a certain blonde was still in ear-shot. "Again, how can you tell?"

"I went to touch her shoulder." Gibby started, gesturing to Sam. "Not much there, man."

"I knew it!" Freddie said, hitting an open hand with his fist. "She was lying to us! But why would she do that... Carly's her best friend for God's sake!"

"Got me man. I'll I know is that you were right when you thought something was up." Gibby said with a shrug as he shouldered his backpack and started off for his first period class. "I gotta go. See ya."

Freddie was no longer paying attention. He was now watching Sam from her locker as she slammed it shut, shouldered her back pack. Then she stood there and waited as a group of girls piled out of the bathroom and dashed for their first period classes. Sam looked around and then made a B-line for the newly emptied girl's bathroom. Freddie watched curiously, and his soon found himself walking closer and closer to the bathroom's entrance.

_'The things I do for friends..' _He thought as he stopped in front of the bathroom door.

Why was he doing this? He wasn't quite sure of that himself. It had only been a few days since he noticed this bizarre behavior and yet it irked him so badly now. Sam was always such a bitch to him, so why did he care what she did with her life? Heck, he was about to walk into a girl's restroom just to prove something that may help Sam, if anything was wrong. Well, he eventually came to figure that if Sam was allowed to do something stupid, then so was he, so pushing open the door he walked in and stopped.

The bathroom was quiet, all expect for the occasional spitting that would echo off of the water in the toilet, signaling that Sam was still there. A few deep breaths followed each spit, and then he heard it. It was an awful sound that Freddie rarely heard outside of flu season in the safety of his own home. The sound started as a loud gurgle, followed quickly by harsh coughs and then finally the large amount of dripping solids that would erupt and land in the water filled toilet bowl, creating a loud sloshing sound when it did.

"O-ow..." Sam whimpered, shortly after this round of violent vomiting ended and Freddie took this chance to make his entrance.

He was a mix of emotions right now. He was angry that Sam lied to him and Carly about this. Confused as to why she even did this in the first place and in a bizarre sense, he was worried for her. He began to wonder how long this had been going on and what damage Sam had already done to her body with this. Coming to the conclusion that this came about some time after that damn shirt fad, he threw open the unlocked stall door and stared down at the sight before him.

There was the blonde headed girl herself, sweater tied around her waist and her small arms gripping the off white bowl of the toilet. If Freddie was correct, she looked 45 pounds lighter than she usually was, meaning that this must've been sometime since she started. Frowning, he examined the contents of the toilet in front of her. He found a pinkish colored mix with flecks of red in it, which in no way resembled half digested food.

"Sam." He said sternly yet gently, nudging the girl with his foot, feeling a bit panicked when the girl did not respond to him at all. "Come on. I'm taking you to the nurse."

Still she stayed in her spot and simply kneeled there with her head bowed and her arms shaking. Slowly, she turned her head to look up at Freddie with tears streaming down her pale face, leaving behind a trail on her makeup covering and remains of vomit on her chin. She didn't seem capable of objecting to him now, but she seemed to be surprising him a lot lately as she got quickly to her feet and shoved him aside, then rushed out of the bathroom. Freddie recovered quickly from the shove and ran to the door as quick as Sam did and threw the door opened. He could hear her footsteps fading down the hall as she raced for the schools exit and with a deep breath, he decided to go after her.


End file.
